about as uplifting as gravity

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.  
Demetri Martin

It's Fleet Week, the local annual celebration of military might.... or something.  It is nice to see all the sailors in their perfect uniforms out to explore The City. 

I cheated and added a teaspoon of rosemary salt.  The difference is subtle and welcome. 

ARLINGTON, Va. (UPI) -- The Cadillac Escalade leads the list of passenger vehicles targeted by thieves, insurance claims for 2008-2010 vehicles show.

A statistician who described the crimes as escalade-ing was found beaten to death at the scene.